Uhhh...

After a lengthly discussion on the state of our relationship...

And a bit of internal omigod, omigod, omigod, omigod's (on my part)...

A generous amount of silence (in a good way)...

Three words were uttered this evening.

Yep, those three words.

And he returned the emotion. (whew) :)

It felt right and I have no regrets. I've been wanting to say it for a couple of weeks now, but I've been waiting for the right moment.

Holy crap, I'm in love.

Am I?

Yeah, I am. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo

Too Mature?

Ok, sure he's 13, but is it just me, or is this guy a little too mature looking for a spelling bee? Or maybe the stress of the spelling bee has aged him? I dunno. lol

I'm Alive!

But I'm sick as a dog. I've been this way since Sunday. Crazy sore throat, low fever and I'm achy all over. I go from freezing cold to sweating my ass off, and swallowing food or drinks (keep it clean, people) has been quite an effort. I feel like I've swallowed shards of glass. Not fun.

I've been home for the last couple of days and it's been nice, although I hate being sick and feeling this pathetic. I'm ready to be done with this! lol

The weekend was great. I spent a ton of time with T, which was nice, although adjusting to the whole couple thing has been a bit of a challenge for me.  I enjoy spending time with him, but now someone is wanting more and more of my free time and I have to learn to create a happy balance of things.  This whole experience is pulling me out of my comfort zone and it certainly is taking some getting used to. But I definitely have to find time for "me" and not be afraid to ask for it!

On Sunday, T participated in Bike The Drive, and I met him afterward. As I was waiting for his return, I took a little walk through the downtown area and grabbed a few snaps:

Crown Fountain at Millenium Park.



A lovely fountain and garden next to the Art Institute:



It's hard to see, but that's the Picasso wearing a Chicago Blackhawks helmet.  Cute!

Super Quickie Blog Post

Hi Everyone.

I'm good. Getting better, feeling better. I just went to Lifetime Fitness this evening and had a MAGNIFICENT workout. That's right, it was magnificent. 45 minutes of cardio and I burned 500 calories. For me, that's hardcore. I kicked ass on the stairmaster, Precor AMT, treadmill (two different times!) and the recumbent bike. Right on!

I feel like the fitness mojo is creeping its way back. When I left the gym I felt like a millon bucks. I almost starting singing this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

The song starts at around 1:00. Stick around for it. ;)

Do it for me, wontcha?

And then watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZm47SrmuwM

Sometimes you just need a good laugh. :)

Get Ready for the Word Vomit

I've been struggling with an issue at work that has me very, very angry.  It's a long story and I need to get it down on paper (my counselor is insisting, too, lol).  Since it has to do with my job - I have to be careful with what I say on my blog.  Once I get it out on paper, I'll probably publish a portion of it on my blog, but who knows.  This isn't standard Knucklehead kind of crap.   I guess that's why the funny hasn't been too forthcoming lately.  I have pictures and stories I want to blog about, but I'm in a rut.  I can manage a happy face away from work, but when I'm here, I get angry again.  Today is a perfect example.  It's a continual cycle five days a week and I hate it.  I wish the weekends were forever.   I seriously need to get out of this rut because it's starting to affect me personally, plus I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay at this job if I continue being this angry.  My anger has been very slowly consuming me and the personal sabatoge has begun.  The mindless eating is back although this time around I'm trying really hard to control it, so it's not quite as mindless ad it could be.    I'm losing my fitness mojo, but thankfully my trainer is in the picture, so I'm going to tell him a little bit of what's going on, just because I need him to keep my ass on track.  I also quit the YMCA and joined Lifetime Fitness yesterday.  They have kick ass group classes that I'm going to dive into -- working out has always been a great stress reliever for me and I defintely need to take advantage of that right now.   In addition, I don't want to ruin the beautiful thing I've got going with T.  He's one of the best things that has happened to me this year and I want him to stick around.  If I don't deal with this issue, it's very possible that I may push him away, and I don't want to do that.    He knows a bit of what's going on, but I don't want to expose the anger that's inside of me right now.  I'm worried of what he'll think of me.  We've been together for less than two months and although he assures me that I can tell him anything, I just can't go there with this situation.  Just talking about it out loud gets me really emotional and I'm not ready for him to see that really raw emotional side of me just yet.   And to give you a better picture of what my anger is like right now...I never wish intentional bodily harm on anyone.  Ever.  Right now, I'm doing quite the opposite.  It's those fantasies of "I think I could probably kill you and make it look like an accident".  I don't ever think that way.  This is crazy.   I saw my counselor on Saturday and she's helping me get back on track.  Thank god for her.  I just want to be happy again, specifically I want to be happy at work again.  I really do love what I do and the company I work for.  I know it isn't always perfect, but these days I can't even stand being here.  I can't even stand the sound of certain people's voices.    I know this is a process and I'm glad I've got the right people around me (friends and family included) that I can reach out to easily.   I'll be back and I promise to be funny soon.  :)

Shorts!

Guess who wore shorts to the gym??

Ok, sure, they're not regular shorts, but short for me! And I wore a short sleeved shirt! I never do that!!

Whoo hoo! :)

Fire Drill

Just when I thought we were turning a corner...old Knuckleheadedness finds its way back!  Well, rather that tell you the story, here's the email sent to SuperGirl and The Receptionist today after the building fire drill today:

We need to come up with a plan for the next fire drill.  

The main reason I stayed behind is because I knew we had no plan for the phones, plus I was sure the front door was going to remain unlocked.  The office was of course left unlocked and no sooner everyone walked out, the CEO called the office.  Two or three tries of him calling and getting the auto attendant, he would have called me on my cell immediately.  I finally shut him up about the hold music, I don't need him complaining that I have a staff of four and no one can seem to be able to pick up the phones in a timely fashion.

For the next fire drill I need you both to work together -- forward at least line 1 to the answering service about 5 minutes before the drill, and then make sure the door handle on the front door is locked.  No need to lock the deadbolt..  And don't forget your keys.  And you both should be carrying cell phones.

Once you return, unlock the office and unforward the phones.

This is simple stuff I really should not be thinking about for you.  Please let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything I can do to assist.

Good thing it was a real fire.  I would have been extra crispy at this point!  lol

Supergirl apologized profusely and took the full blame.  Quit apologizing -- and THINK!!!! 

JEE-ZUS!!!  :(

Fingers Crossed

Sis has an interview today.  It's basically what she did here, but for a MUCH larger company.    Her interview is at 11am, then she's coming here afterward to fill me in on the details.   Stay tuned!!

Fondue!

My friend S is in town from London and we went out for fondue on Thursday. We went to The Fondue Stube, a fondue joint up on northwest-ish side that we had gone to a few times over the years, but since it had been so long and she no longer lives in Chicago, we decided to go.

Warning: fondue is wonderful, but it is an event. Seriously. We were at the restaurant for over two hours!! But it was an excellent opportunity to catch up with an old friend. :)

Plus, when you look at the entire experience, there are so many small pieces and so much work involved, you really end up eating a lot less because you are forced to pace yourself. Dang, I'm going to start eating fondue every day! lol

We started with a small salad and garlic bread, followed by a muenster cheese fondue, which came with veggies, bread cubes and apples. I was going to go for classic swiss, but I'm a fan of muenster (ever have it as a grilled cheese sammich??), and it was a winner. It tasted great, esp with the granny smith apples and the bread cubes, although I think if the bread cubes were a bit crustier (maybe they should have popped them in the broiler prior to serving?) they would have been even better with the fondue.

Followed by beef and chicken fondues, which are basically uncooked cubed meats brought out on a plate with veggies and various sauces. Your "fondue" is a pot of soybean oil which is put over the burner and you fry your food. Yeah, yeah, I know, frying your food? The portions are pretty small and come on, how often do I fry anything? Never. So I gave in to the experience.

 

 

Dessert was the best part! Chocolate fudge fondue!  Served up with an array of fruits and angel food cake, as soon as it was served, the waiter flambeed the chocolate and encouraged us to toast up the marshmallows on our plates, then dip them in the chocolate.  Holy crap, that was "slap yo' momma" delicious.  lol 

I receive a fondue set a few Christmases ago...I think it's time to bust that sucker out!!  lol

Snoozin' In The Yard

Guess who?

 

 

Wine Flights

I tried my first (and second!) wine flight!

T and I went to Andie's on Friday night for dinner, and the special drink menu featured five or six wine flights. You were able to try three different wines for $11 and we were game to give 'em a try!

T ordered a Pinot Noir flight, mine was made up of Spanish wines. I think I was more fascinated about the set up than the wine, since I'm all about packaging! :) They came on these little racks which I'm sure are normal for wine flights, but hey, I'm a newbie at this crap! lol

Here's what they looked like. Mine is in the forefront, T's in in the back. Oh and yes, that's a little tiny bit of his arm you can see all the way to the right:

The wines were wonderful. We both liked the first and third wines in both of our flights. I wrote 'em down so we have some options for wine purchases in the future.

And yes, since I'm not a drinker, I got a little flushed and VERY chatty. lol I swear, sometimes I think T may think I am stupid, but he tells me how much he loves to listen to me talk. I think I could probably talk about paint drying and he'd be captivated by the conversation. He's cool like dat. ;)

Spanish Lesson #1 :)

T is a white guy if I haven't said that already.  I'm hispanic.  He's never tried to impress me with his knowledge of spanish like most guys do, which I appreciate, because I'm not as hispanic as some may think!  lol  My spanish is horrible.  Just ask my family!   But then he attempted some spanish last night, and I think it's because my nickname for his is in spanish (and no, I won't tell you.  Yet.)   And I can't get over how cute the whole thing was!   I received an email from him last night and the subject line says "Hola Guerido".  At first glance I thought he was calling me "guero", which pretty much is a nickname Mexicans have for the blonde haired, blue eyed Americans.   So I responded back and asked if he was referring to me, or himself, based on this definition:   http://www.spanishdict.com/translate/guero#   He responded back and said he was trying to translate the word "darling".    http://www.spanishdict.com/translate/darling   Well, he was almost there, but seems to have confused the letter "q" with the letter "g".  The word is "querida" (feminine) or "querido" (masculine).   Too cute.    I can't believe the whitest hispanic girl in America (according to my mother) is giving out spanish lessons!!  LOL   But the "meat" of T's email was the best part.  Here are a couple of lines:   I think about you and my day brightens. I think about tomorrow and I wonder what part you will take in it. I prepare my dinner and I wonder if you were here what we would make. SWOOOOOON!

Look Who I Found Hanging Around In a Tulip Bed!

It's everyone's favorite Puerto Rican Mamasita! :)

Back In My 20's...

I could stay up all night, get up at 6am the next day for work and be totally fine.  Or I could sleep in on the weekends till noon without a problem.   These days, it ain't so easy.  Staying up past 10pm can be a struggle most nights and staying in bed past 6 or 7am never happens.  I guess that happens when you get old.  :)   I overslept this morning.  I was so tired when I went to bed last night that I forgot to set my alarm and I overslept by almost two hours.  HOLY CRAP!  I haven't overslept on a workday in YEARS!   I considered working from home, but I didn't have any of my work with me, so I had to go to the office.   I guess I've been running on fumes since the weekend and I was in denial of some sort.  Oops!  Dates with T on Friday AND Saturday (yay!) then an outing with the fam and working at the office from 5pm-10pm on Sunday, followed by an outing with my staff last night, I got home at 10pm, talked to T for about an hour (well, he did all of the talking as my eyes did all of the fluttering in effort to stay awake), and within 30 seconds of hanging up, I was asleep.   And I slept straight through until 6:44am.  I'm normally up at or before 5am.  DAMN!   It was weird coming into work so late, but I don't care.  I'm the boss, dammit!!  lol

Spring Has Sprung!

Walking On Thin Ice...Again

Oh, how it just never ends today...I'm on a roll, it seems. I wrote a friggin cell phone policy at the start of this year because the employees were abusing the policy with replacements, exchanges, and so forth. The cell phone bill was OUTRAGEOUS, so I implemented the policy to ensure a reduction in monthly costs. And it's working. As long as my staff enforces the policy. And they often don't, which makes me want to rip my hair out. The receptionist is in charge of the cell phone plan. Just the upkeep stuff - entering/verify the monthly bill, calling the cell phone company for billing adjustments, ordering new lines of service, AND FOLLOWING THE POLICY (which includes the repair/replacement process) WHEN AN EMPLOYEE REPORTS AN ISSUE WITH THEIR PHONE. See, our employees are spoiled. They love to be catered to and have everything handed to them on a silver platter. If there's a tiny issue with their phone, they'll never call the cell phone company nor visit a local store to see whether or not it's a quick repair. I found out that the receptionist was simply replacing the phone, no questions asked. And that's when the costs started getting outrageous. And that's where I stepped in with a policy, which included what to do in the case of a repair/replacement issue. The whole replacement process through the cell phone company is a long (and costly) process, so I won't bore you with the details. Well, Baby Arm is apparently having issues with his cell phone. Something about the battery or whatever. He went to her (good boy) and guess what? She sent him to me. She told him all upgrades and exchanges go through me. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? Did I write the policy in invisible ink? The process is there and you and SG play a huge role in that process. It's documented. READ IT, YOU MORON. Gah. I'm super pissy today. I'm sure I'll be back with more. If she keeps it up I'm going to beat her with her flip flops.

Dress Code

I had to write a freaking dress code policy for my staff last year because I (and a few of the managers, I later found out) was getting tired of seeing so many plumber's cracks, tramp stamps, whale tails (thongs), shorty shorts, ripped jeans (I was told "they're made that way". Sure, but do I have to point out the difference of what's appropriate and what's not?), crappy tshirts, belly shirts and most of all, all of the damn feet. People don't know the difference between a nice pair of flip flops and the ones you use to when you wash the car, the dog, or do your gardening. Sure, sure, I hate feet, but I'm not banning flip flops because of it (although in a perfect world I WOULD), it's just everyone's definition of casual footwear is definitely different. So guess who shoes up today sporting her black rubber flip flops, showing of a french pedicure? NO, IT WAS NOT ME. Puh-leeze. lol None other than the receptionist, Little Miss Walking on Thin Ice (see previous post). I was a little surprised, because I just sent out the policy to my staff TWO DAYS AGO. SuperGirl showed up in flip flops the other day, so I used it as an opportunity to remind everyone about the dress code. She of course immediately changed her shoes. So to give the receptionist the benefit of the doubt, I waited a couple of hours. Nothing. We have a house full of clients in here today and she's still walking around with those damn flip flops. So I had to send out a reminder: I think I've been pretty clear about the dress code in the office (see attached policy, which was sent out earlier in the week and originally sent late last year). Flip flops are no longer allowed to be worn in the office by the admin staff. If you have a change of shoes that you can wear, please do so. Otherwise, please be mindful about this in the future. She hasn't said a word, but I'm not surprised. Like I've got time for this shit. Spare me.

Walking On Thin Ice

The receptionist isn't working out. There is something seriously wrong with her and I can't figure it out. She tells me all is good, she loves working for us (and with me), she has no complaints, so in my mind, everything seems fine. But then again, she is scared shitless of me. For what reason, I do not know. I'm very very nice to her. But she's afraid of the entire management team. It's kinda sad and funny all at the same time. She sits in meetings with me and my staff and NEVER participates. She NEVER has anything to say. That concerns me a little because I have a staff full of opinionated loud mouths, but hey, not everyone can be the same way. Plus, she's only worked here for 6 months and maybe she's just being a little reluctant to speak up. I'm trying to cut the kid some slack on that point. My biggest problem with her is that she can't manage to get her work done, even the simple stuff like making sure we have coffee or the lights are turned off at night. I first thought it was an ego problem (she went from being an office manager to a receptionist), thinking the tasks were beneath her. I later I found out that the office manager job was merely a title, because she really was just a glorified admin assistant, so that wasn't it. I'm positive that it's a prioritization problem because she can't seem to figure out what to do first. She gets frustrated when given a lot to do, like she doesn't know where to start. SG and I have given her tools to help with prioritization (to do lists, ,notebooks, whiteboards, etc) but I'm not sure she is even using them. She also likes to pace herself. I've noticed that she normally spends an unusual amount of time on simple tasks, and around here, that's not acceptable. And if she hits a brick wall, we don't find out until way later, because she NEVER EVER asks any questions. So between the prioritizing, pacing and brick wall hitting, I'm also thinking it may be fear. Fear of screwing up and/or fear of getting fired because she screwed up and/or doesn't look busy enough. She reports to Knucklehead #2 (who is now my assistant and kicking ass, so I think she needs a new nickname - I'm toying with calling her SuperGirl, although I do call her Zygote to her face, because she's 22 and oh-so-innocent, lol) and she seems to think the receptionist has an issue reporting to someone younger than she is (receptionist is 27). I'm having a hard time believing it, but it's entirely possible. So I dunno. I went to lunch with my sister and my two Knuckleheads (#1 & #2 (aka SuperGirl)) and we discussed the situation at length. My sister held the most experience (and most management experience) at the table, so I asked, "What do you think?" "I don't think she's a good fit for what you need." Wow. First time I actually heard that out loud, because it's been in my head for a few weeks. Well, SuperGirl is going from part time to full time in two weeks. I CANNOT WAIT! And by doing so, I'm hoping that things will smooth out a bit with not only SG's workload, but the working relationship between the two of them. I really think the receptionist gets a bit lost when SG isn't around. She doesn't come to me with questions or asks if I need help with anything. I give her things to do, but a lot of what I do is sensitive in nature and it's none of her business. I check in with her regularly, and I get the same answer, "Oh, everything is fine." Um-kay. And because the receptionist is terrified of me, I don't want to have that scary talk with her just yet. I've given SG some great advice about the situation and how to attempt to make things work with the receptionist and she plans to implement them immediately. I told her to take the nice guy approach and if in a couple of weeks it's not working, I'll have to step in. I have no problem being the bad guy. :) For now, we will wait. But I told SG - the receptionist has 30 days from the day she comes on full time (May 18th) and after that, it's decision time. KH #1 is gone. Last day was yesterday. Whatever will I do for blog fodder??? lol